As a fresh-faced 21 yr old, I did a one-year placement at a pharmaceutical company as a synthetic chemist – a position that involves a lot of what is remarkably like cooking but with ‘reagents’ (fancy word for chemicals) instead of ingredients, making potential drugs instead of cakes. I loved the placement, I loved the work and I loved the people so I set about on the pathway to getting back in to the industry. It’s eight years on, I have the qualifications to do the role, I’m applying for jobs and I’m starting to wonder ‘Is this what I want to do? and 'Can I use all the skills I've learnt elsewhere?’
This blog is going to cover my research into what scientists like me are qualified to do that’s not in the laboratory. I’ll do my best to reference websites and people that actually do these jobs and hopefully I can help some people out by sharing what I’m learning. It’ll probably be interspersed with anecdotes and rants from the lab so you can see why I'm leaving this ‘unique’ environment! If you read this, think it’s useful/funny/worth reading, pass on the link – I’d love to know if I’m any good at this writing lark.
Wednesday, 28 May 2014
Sorting out your career is nobody else's job
I’m sorry to break it to you, guys, (and this is something I only really realised recently) but there is no-one out there that will be able to tell you exactly what job you should be doing and how to get it: that includes careers consultants. (Clearly they can help with your thinking and the processes of applying and so on but read on….)
About a year ago I started to realise that maybe the career in industrial research that I’d planned for the last 10 years wasn’t what I wanted. I confess it was partly initiated by the difficulty in getting a job but the more and more I thought about it, the more I realised I probably didn’t want the jobs I’d been applying for anyway.
Phew. Bullet dodged. Now what?
Well, first I started to complain. "My supervisors have never talked to me about what other careers are available", "No-one wants to talk about jobs outside of research", "I haven’t been given the opportunity to do anything else", I whined to the very nice careers consultant at KCL. I was quite whiny at this point, looking back on all the missed opportunities during my PhD and PostDoc and basically blaming other people.
Then I went to the Nature Careers Expo last September and realised things had to change. Every presentation I went to seemed to start with, "So I created this forum..,", or "I started this blog" and I sat there thinking "I can barely use my phone for email, how the hell am I going to blog?". It was at this point that the penny dropped: if I wasn’t going to take responsibility for getting myself a new career path, why should anyone else?
So I started a blog on my career search. I write down what I found out and shared it with other people. Almost every link and image I uploaded for the first month was broken and I’m still convinced that only my mother reads this but it gave me a start that lead to a free place at a SciComm conference, new contacts (yes, networking), a new understanding of the field around research and the jobs therein, a chance to blog on Speakers of Science, involvement in ScienceGrrl, the opportunity to do some public engagement with schools, joining twitter…but not necessarily in that order. Fundamentally, if you don’t know what you want to do, that’s fine: but you’re the only one who can find out.
During your PhD you can easily feel like you don’t have time for extra things but you will never get less busy, I promise you. The wonderful thing about your PhD studies is that there are lots of things you can try for free and if you don’t like doing them, you can stop. Here are some examples of things you can try…
1. Offer to write your PI’s research paper or review, even if it’s not on your specific area of work. This will help you decide if you want to do medical writing, where you have to summarise other people’s work, clinical trials and even the inserts that go in medication. I’ve written (and published) two papers this year and have two more underway. This is helping me get the most out of my PostDoc and making me practise my scientific writing.
2. Enter writing competitions to see if you like writing about science for a mainstream audience. I entered Access to Understanding with an article on arthritis (not my area) and got lots of feedback from friends and family.
3. Write news articles about cutting-edge science and submit them to the university paper/a blog/your boyfriend to see if they’re any good, to see if you like doing this and to see how long it takes you. I wrote something on antibody-drug-conjugates (sort of my area) in application for an internship at The Economist.
4. GO ON COURSES They’re free for many students, you probably have to go on some and you’ll definitely never have access to so many experts. I did a public speaking masterclass, public engagement course with King’s, science journalism at The Guardian and science writing at OBR. I paid £50 for the Guardian course, but the rest were free and it was a great way to meet like minded people for advice and support.
5. Talk to new people at every conference, meeting and seminar. If you’re absolutely awful at this then a job that requires networking is probably not for you. If you’re good at this then you will have made new contacts that could be invaluable. I ended up at a ScienceGrrl brainstorm, teaching kids about oxidation and sitting in on meetings about Science Museum lates all because of ‘someone’ I met ‘somewhere’ – not through my supervisor.
6. Read some patents. Properly. Is this something you find interesting? Patent law is a popular and competitive choice for graduates. It’s not easy so you should know what you’re getting yourself into. (I worked for a patent company as a chemistry consultant for a bit as part of my PhD – I’m pretty certain I find this dull)
7. Seriously think about how much money you’d like to earn and how little you will settle for: this will have a massive impact on what jobs you will apply for. My current job (which I love) is less than half my PostDoc wage and less than my PhD stipend.
8. Start a Twitter account or blog for yourself or your research group This is a great way to see what’s going on outside your research institution. If you do this for your research group you MUST ask permission from your superiors/head of department.
9. Plan something complicated from start to finish. A work party, a conference, a hen-do, a football tournament. The organisation this requires will tell you if you’re cut out for planning or project management and if you like doing it. I got married during my work search. I’m pretty sure I can now organise the hell out of most things. (Disclaimer: I’m not suggesting you get married purely for the project management experience, maybe just an engagement party…)
10. Apply for some jobs. Even if you don’t know what you want to do. At least browse the job boards to see what’s out there. Some applications that I made steered me towards positions that I was better suited to. If you want a wake-up call, check out the picture below. It’s a screen shot of my ‘Applications’ folder. It doesn’t include those applications that were speculative or required only an online form…there are over 60 individual applications in less than a year. Don’t moan, just do something.
Any of the extra things on your CV will make you seem more well-rounded and not just another fed-up researcher. I was told on a forum that I was just another ‘desperate PostDoc that couldn’t make it in academia’ – you need to make sure your CV shows that that’s not the case and that you have other skills! And remember, if you try something new and you don’t like it or you’re rubbish at it, that’s fine, just stop and try something else. Then you can also add ‘perseverance’ to your CV.
I was ridiculously busy during all of this but I’m now at a job I love. I work for Sense About Science, a charity supporting projects that equip the public to make sense (get it?) of science. We create guides for the public, run events for researchers to train them in the best way to talk about their work, address bad journalism and put writers in touch with scientific experts whenever we can to make sure that science is clear, well-represented and useful for the public and policy-makers alike. It’s fast-paced, responsive, dead-line driven and no-one has cried for the whole eight weeks I’ve been here. So far, it’s wildly different to academia.
A version of this post was first hosted on the King's College London Graduate School blog. If you're affiliated with King's I strongly urge you to check them out as they are really helpful.
Wednesday, 21 May 2014
How to have two jobs...
I was never naive enough to believe that co-ordinating two jobs would be easy but I don't think I thought it would be so 'consuming'. In order to keep tabs on both jobs (one new), I often have to plan for one, whilst doing the other. This has to be done carefully to minimise the impact on whichever role I'm doing, whilst planning for the time when I'll be at the 'other' job. If you're lost by this description of my problem, then you should try doing it!
Right now, I need the money that my second job gives me and I'm really grateful to the 'first' job for agreeing to the arrangement, so I'm doing my best to do both jobs well. I'm fairly confident that I'm managing to keep my end of the bargain (two ends of a four-sided bargain) but that's not to say that things have gone completely smoothly. For example, there was one evening where I had to leave a bar at 11.30 pm because boss number two hadn't read an email properly and I needed to quickly respond. Of course, I didn't really need to respond to an e-mail at that time but I am afflicted with a pathological need to please and therefore couldn't just say no (I probably should have thought about this before I tried to please two bosses).
Whilst a lot has been said of having multiple freelance jobs on Twitter recently (under #Scicomm14freelance), here are some of my tips to make life a bit easier if your juggling two jobs, particularly if they are in different places and you can't work on either from home.
1. Plan
I'm quite organised and like to think that I always plan ahead but with two jobs you really need to make sure that you know what you're going to be doing, when and where. Once you've decided where you plan to be, make sure that you tell the people who need to know at both locations. Then tell them again. Other people are busy sorting out their own jobs so a passing mention that you plan to be away a week next Friday won't stick. Remind them in writing and, if possible, get them to confirm that they have understood. I've had several occasions over the last few months where I've told boss two my plans only to be emailed with a list of things to do on a day that I've said I won't be working.
2. Be realistic
There are going to be weeks when you are busy at both jobs, juggling completely different deadlines, plans and objectives. If you're asked to take on something new, judge whether you're going to be able to actually manage it before saying yes. If you're doing a four day week, don't try and cram five days worth of work into four days. If you manage this, can you let me know how you did it?
3. Ask for help
I haven't found this easy an easy one, but juggling two roles is only made harder if you try to do absolutely everything yourself. If there are things that could best be done between your visits, ask someone else if they can help. They may so no but, quite often, shared goals will mean that they want to help and they may even just help out of kindness!
4. Be flexible
After all these tips about planning and organising, I would also try to allow some 'flex' in your plans. There will be times when you will need to e-mail someone about job one when you should be doing job two, or take a call for job two on your lunch break at job one. Sometimes dealing with the two jobs simultaneously is tiring but it's really the only way I've found to keep both posts moving.
5. Switch off
This is something I've really struggled with. It's so tempting to work longer hours, check your emails earlier and later, do unpaid work at the weekend to take the pressure off. I'm guilty of all of these things and not sleeping because I've forgotten to order printer toner, emailed the wrong person at the wrong time or not managed to fit in that paper redraft. I do, however, (hypocritically) recommend that you don't do any of these things and make sure that you allow yourself time to not be at work. Either of them.
I wanted to take a picture that showed the tricky nature of trying to be in two places at once so I chopped a lime in half (the only fruit I always have). Unfortunately it made me want to mix a gin and tonic (the only drinks I always have in). I had water - After all, I need to keep my head clear in case I need to reply to a work email!
Does anyone have two jobs in two locations, or more? Am I just not doing it right or does it get easier? What is your advice?
Wednesday, 2 April 2014
Negotiating a job contract.
The job is an internship that results in a large pay-cut for me (something I'll write about later) so I thought about what I could do to make the situation a bit better for me. The original job advert stated:
"We can be a little bit flexible with hours, if the person is finishing writing up their thesis for example."
I also knew that my current boss wanted me to continue working for him in some capacity (even if that meant collating data and papers for free) so I went about approaching both parties with some ideas. After a week of back and forth e-mails I negotiated a contract that kept one day a week at my old job (which pays more per day) whilst keeping my full salary at the new job for four days as week.
It wasn't something I felt particularly comfortable doing at the start but it worked out really well in the end and here are some guidelines on how I managed it:
Be realistic. There are always going to be things that you want in a job contract: more pay, a larger bonus, better benefits, etc., but focus on what can realistically be done within the terms of your employment. For example, I knew that the salary for my new internship would be a financial struggle and I also understood from my interview that there would be no further funds in the charity's budget to increase my pay. Faced with this, I didn't ask for more money but, instead, asked if I could work for somebody else for one day a week and boost my pay. My new bosses were very understanding of my situation and have been very helpful in allowing me to arrange having two different jobs.
Be honest. My negotiations involved two other parties so there was no point or benefit to over-complicating the situation by not being completely honest. There's always the temptation to push your luck to get extra but I found it paid off to be completely open. I found this particularly important as I was discussing money.
Be focussed. I wouldn't recommend asking for more than one or two changes to your contract. If you're asking for more money, different hours, extra pension, every second Thursday off and a company car then I think you start to look a bit 'grabby'. Stick with what you really want and you'll usually be taken more seriously.
Time off. I wrote my PhD thesis in 6 weeks (pretty much from start to finish) in order to start my Post-Doc on time. I worked out that I could work on 5 hours sleep, didn't need to shower and my then-boyfriend-now-husband would bring me meals when I didn't have time to leave my desk. I submitted on a Friday in mid-November, started work the following Monday and took two days off to prepare for, and attend, my viva just two weeks later. In retrospect, this was a mistake. The PI had wanted me to start in September and I was so keen to get a job straightaway (I'd never not been enrolled or employed) that I gave myself very tight deadlines and started my Post-Doc exhausted. In the long-run, an extra week would've made absolutely no difference and I should have gone back to them and asked for a week later start date.This time, although I knew that my new employers could take me on as soon as possible, I made sure that there was a week in between my jobs. I still ended up replying to a few e-mails and had to dodge a thinly-veiled request to work for free for a few days (old boss, not new!) but it made a huge difference to me to start my new job fresh and ready to go.
Ask for advice. In deciding how best to approach this situation I approached the career's service at my institute for some guidance. I'm very lucky to have this resource and I know not everyone is so fortunate. Try not to 'straw-poll' your friends and family on if and how you should ask for something. Their likely to be on your side (you'd hope) and won't be the most objective. If you do ask someone you know personally, make it a manager or an employee that has had to deal with similar situations before. Advice like 'Don't ask, don't get' is fine when being dished out by a friend but being reasonable in a professional environment is a different situation altogether.
Keep in mind, you haven't signed anything yet. This goes both ways. Your new employers will learn a lot about you from this negotiation and, whilst it's unlikely that your requests will make them completely change their mind about employing you, it could affect how they think of you in the future. Going the other way, if a company reacts unreasonably to a fair request or a 'deal-breaker' for you, think about whether you're learning something vital about their practices and if you still want to work for them.
I'm aware I've been very lucky in finding two employers amenable to this situation but I was told recently by a friend I shouldn't feel too 'grateful'. I'm bringing something to both employers and simply trying to make the situation work for me, too. What I required from them was understanding of the situation and to have accepted less from them without a fair reason would have been selling myself short.
In short. In these situations, be prepared to fight your corner but just choose your fight carefully.
Tuesday, 18 March 2014
I got a JOB! AKA a positive control for CV writing...
On the 19th February I applied for a volunteer role at the Natural History Museum only to find out that I'd mistakenly got the date wrong and applied one day too late! I was understandably miffed so I went into my flagged e-mail list to make sure I didn't miss any more deadlines.
I noticed that I still had one day to apply for two great internship roles at Sense About Science. Their name has come up a number of times when people were recommending employers to me so I wasn't going to let this one slip away. They make it their mission to help people understand the science they are bombarded with every day. This could be clearing up something confusing (or wrong) in the media, training scientists on how to best describe their own work or encouraging people to simply ask for evidence when given a piece of information.
Look! Dara O'Briain thinks their Ask For Evidence campaign is great! |
I had to submit a form and a written exercise beforehand and the interview itself only lasted 45 minutes. Nonetheless, I felt really pleased with the way it went. I didn't 'fake' anything or pretend to be anything I'm not and we all got on really well. There was even an awkward, but nice, moment where I had to namedrop that I'd been on Newsnight a few weeks before.
The follow-up interview with the managing director was the next week, where we discussed the role and the company in a bit more detail. Again, I felt very honest, I felt that they were being honest with me and there was no pretence. I was very excited. I still am.
Today, I wanted to pass on the great feeling that comes when you get a job you want, a job you know you can do well and (although I was sick of people saying it to me) when it's the right job for you, you WILL get it. Also, my 'positive control' CV was tinkered with in 10 minutes and sent out with a cover letter in just 30, but I've spent 18 months writing dozens of applications so I think I must've got pretty good at it! When it comes to the interview process, I've learnt that if you feel under a whole amount of pressure to 'perform' and be someone you're not, then the job is probably not for you. If you get the job under the pretence of a skill you don't really have or a type of personality that isn't really you, then the job is going to be very very stressful trying to keep that up!
Anyway, it's been a couple of weeks now but my contract is signed and I'm due to start next week, just a month after I applied. The whole process has raised quite a few issue of job-seeking including contract negotiations, juggling two jobs (I'll be at King's one day a week sometimes) and starting at the bottom, not to mention taking a huge (-60%) pay-cut. I'm hoping to share how this is all going over the next few weeks, with honest advice and tips for such a big life change.
I've also got some research to share on (science) writing and journalism. Just because I've found my niche (I hope), it won't stop me sharing my science careers stuff with you!
Oh yeah, If you're interested in the science communication side of the posts I've written, I'm writing on another blog called Experiments in Communication on the Speakers of Science network. That's more about what I'm learning about scientific communication from courses and as I go through my new career (job?)- Feel free to take a look. The other posts on the network are pretty cool too - one has a see-through egg!
Monday, 24 February 2014
Consultancy: Principles and Profits
The seminars followed one another, week after week, so it was very easy to compare them. The very first thing I noticed was the atmosphere and general feel of the room. The difference was quite striking:
‘Profits’
There are a number of transferable skills that you can take from your degree and/or PhD but there are some differences in how you'll apply them.
What else do I need on my CV
For the big 'profits' companies, the interview process is arduous and usually comprised of several different sections and online tests. Check out the website of the bigger companies: they usually describe their interview processes in detail. Expect online tests (which you can practice on-line beforehand), 'stress-days' - where they check how well you can prioritise by bombarding you with emails, face-to-face interviews with partners and high competition.
The consultancies and research firms that were discussed at KCL and formed the basis of this post were Deloitte, McKinsey, The New Economics Foundation, Social Pharma, Forum for the Future, Centre for Economic and Social Inclusion (CESI). I'm sure you can work out which camp each belongs to...
Updated 24-02-14:You can also get unpaid consultancy experience as a PhD student/graduate by working with Oxbridge Biotech Roundtable. They provide opportunities to get some work on your CV but the assignments are sometimes quite time-consuming and they aren't paid. I replied to a job advert for 10-15 hours a week that, in reality, was as much as 20-30 hours in weeks with big deadlines. Nonetheless, I think it's worth checking out if you can commit the time and want to get some experience.
Friday, 14 February 2014
Dealing with rejection
Can you guess what I'm making? |
You can see where I tried to cut the dough in half with a scissors to see if it was cooked. It wasn't |
On the plus-side, the scraped off topping made quite a nice pasta dish |
Look at me! Doing sport! |
I decided the best way to combat the cold was to ensure NONE of my skin was exposed. |
Sunday, 26 January 2014
How to secure a job after your PhD
Wednesday, 15 January 2014
The kindness of strangers
@Science_Grrl @gemgemloulou I'm currently 'application-bombing' all things science/public-engagement/communication/internships/jobs!
— lauren tedaldi (@LaurenTedaldi) November 29, 2013
The next morning I had a meeting with the Head of Department about setting up a blog and Twitter account for the department (something I’d not had the courage to bring up before) and sent out emails to Outreach, Public Engagment, Widening Participation and our Marketting department. I basically set out my interests, who I was and asked if I could perhaps spend a day shadowing them. Most got back to me pretty quickly with suggestions of who else I should speak to or explanations that watching them work would not be that exciting. However, our (lovely) public engagement department informed me that although watching them read and send hundreds of emails would be quite dull, I could potentially sit in on their following day of meetings with the Francis Crick Institute (aka 'The Crick') the next day. The Crick is a consortium of research organisations that will investigate cutting edge medical research as a partnership. Eventually they'll be based in King's Cross, London, but before they've built the institute itself they are running the Science Museum Lates in February and, as one of the Crick’s partners, some KCL research groups are presenting their work to the public. After checking with all the involved participants, I was allowed to ‘lurk’ at these meetings. This was quite exciting for me as the Science Museum has featured rather heavily in some recent life choices! I won’t spoil the surprises but there’s going to be some really exciting and entertaining work demonstrated at the event and I’d urge you all to go. It will be focussed on the future of biomedical discovery and will therefore be relevant to everyone as new advances and developments in medicine will effect us all, scientist or not.
During my public-engagement-sponsored loitering, not only did I get an insight into some of the varied work going on at my institution, something that is often surprisingly rare, but I also got to understand more about the logistics of such big public engagement projects.
The KCL public engagement department representative* wasn’t just there as a mediator but asked insightful questions to ensure that the real scientific messages weren’t lost in attention grabbing (but scientifically dubious) titles and experiments. Fundamentally, their experience lies in these events and they made sure that the researchers kept ‘on-message’ for the event and didn’t just present their research how they wanted to. This is a key point: If we want to discuss our reseach with the public, which I think we should, then we need to come at it from their point of view – What do they want to know about it? What are the key messages for them? This will probably not be them same as the key messages you want to get across for a journal but more general, although more concise and more about, dare I use the word, the impact of your research – i.e. Who cares?
A lot of question at the meetings focussed on logistics – Will I be on a stage looking down towards an audience or on one level? What equipment do you need? How many electrical sockets can I have? These questions were all tied up in how they could best present their ideas tailored to the event. It’s all very well to have an elaborate set-up but, if you have 45 minutes to prepare and it all needs to come home with you on the tube, you might rethink your plan to erect an intricate version of the large hadron collider made entirely out of cheese…. (BTW:I would fund this and would recommend halloumi - sculptable yet with some 'give')
With less than 90 minutes between meetings, the representatives from the Crick hotfooted it back to their offices in Euston on the bus and then all the way back to Waterloo. I got the impression that they’re really busy and commited to pouring their efforts into making this a very exciting event (see previous comment about 'You should definitely go').
In one meeting, I finally met a member of staff* who is heavily involved in all things public engagement/outreach-y in my wider department. She was exhausted from her involvement in getting an experiment sent into space the night before but was full of energy and enthusiasm for her next project. Before I’d left, she’d offered to let me get involved in another outreach event in March – timed to ensure that I could still be involved if my contract doesn’t get extended. Yet again, someone was going out of their way to help me and give me some advice. I was really touched.
My 'take home message' today is that if your interested in doing some work with the public, be that at schools, museums or festivals, tell your public engagment department, tell your Head of Department and pretty soon you'll probably find an exhausted (but fulfilled) member of staff who's more than happy to let you help.
Anyway, I've got to go, I've got an event to plan...
N.B. If you're already doing something with the public, make sure your institution knows about it as well, a big problem for co-ordinating this sort of work is that we tend to keep things 'extra-curricular' under our hats. By doing this, you make it seem like it's unusual and not worthy of promotion.
*I haven't named the kindly folk who helped me out this week as I don't want them to be inundated with requests for help that they will be too nice to turn down. Also, they're my friendly strangers - get your own!
Tuesday, 7 January 2014
Robots made me do it...
Those of you who've followed this blog or (God forbid) know me personally, will know that I've been actively looking for a new job for well over a year, with absolutely no luck, so this was a big deal for me and may come as a bit of a surprise for you.
It was great job that would pay well, working for someone I really respect, so I think I should probably explain myself. I'll get to the robots in a bit...
The job was a research post with great opportunities to develop my career in a dynamic group keen to make big steps quickly - potentially with the resources and enthusiasm to actually meet these goals. In academia, things can move very slowly, one reason why I've always wanted to work in 'industry' - a catch all term that researchers use to describe jobs that makes a commercial product, rather than academia, where the research is usually more driven by the desire to learn (this is changing, but that's for another time...). This post would put me in a great position to go into industry in 2 years, maybe a little longer.
The cherry on the employment-cake was that I'd also get to work for an ex-boss that I liked, knew our work styles were compatible and I was confident we could do good research together. All of these positives were why I applied, why I was pleased when I went for my interview and why I left the enjoyable interview with a spring in my step.
I was told that it might be a while before I heard back about the job and that they'd let me know when they'd be able to 'let me know'. However, in the end, they got back to me quickly with an offer of a role. Looking back, I think I probably knew straight away that something wasn't right. I felt really weird about the offer. Sad that I'd 'have' to take this job, that it was too good an opportunity to turn down, that all my investigations and inroads, however meagre, into life away from research was for nothing and that the decision had more or less been made for me by the offer of this great job.
Then, I realised something. If I was sad about taking the job, if I was sad to stay in research, I probably shouldn't do it! This sounds really daft, I'm sure. Of course this sounds like an obvious conclusion but it wasn't an easy decision to come to and I thought it might be helpful to others to explain how I got there...
I asked for a week to think about the offer. I don't think they were thrilled to wait but they'd been happy to tell me that I should expect a long wait and I think, as an interviewee, you should never forget that you are also interviewing them!
Over that week, I spoke to friends, family, current and past colleagues about my dilemma. If reading this, you are one of those people, then 'Cheers' - by getting things off my chest I started to come to some sort of decision about what I wanted to do, but I was still of the splintery-bum-brigade, not quite getting off the fence. For a number of complex reasons that I can't Athena Swan my way out of, the role would also involve a change of my personal plans for the next few years and I wasn't willing to commit to the job, or to turn it down, unless I was sure the role was worth making certain sacrifices for.
That week, I also went to a Science Museum Lates event. The theme was Robots. Pretty jazzy, I'm sure you can imagine. There were tiny cheetah robots, creepy salamander robots, robot hands and robot fish that could be controlled via a video game. In a word, it was excellent.
I sat on the floor and made a robot wasp. The wasp, on the other hand, was pretty poor (and I ruined a mascara trying to put stripes on it, oh the sacrifice!). Anyway, my point was, as I trundled around the museum, agog at the technology that others had designed, truly fascinated by the work and throughly engrossed in the best way to get my robot to beat my husband's in a race, I didn't feel inspired to run back to the lab to produce my own imagination-capturing-inspiring research. What I thought was, 'Wouldn't it be great to work here' (and the occasional 'I could've explained that better'). To talk about science to people who just want to learn about it, or who didn't realise they liked it and only came for the speed-dating, but stayed for the circuitry. The idea of that really grabbed me. I know one night on a special event, at one of the most well-known museums in a city known for it's museums, is hardly representative of the normal life of your public engagement/scientific communication/museum curating employee, but I was far, far more excited by the idea, the challenge and the opportunity to at least try to do something like this than I was of a certain job, well-paid, with the aforementioned great boss.
Fundamentally, I don't deserve the job. Somebody else will do that job well, somebody who will throw themselves into a research career, somebody who is hungry for this position - and that 'someone' is not me.
So, I guess, what I'm trying to say is I've come to a realisation:
When you're 19 and you're sure you want to do a job, when you spend years studying, learning and occasionally crying en route to that job, sometimes, ten years later, it might be OK to change your mind.
When I finish my twice-extended contract in less than three months, with no job prospects, I may live to regret this possible act of folly. Until then, anyone want to buy my robot wasp (the wings fell off in the race that I didn't win. I hope it's not a sign)?