Dealing with rejection

We've all been there. You're sure it can work but you are getting mixed signals from them. You wait for them to get in touch and then, it happens. 

        

"We regret to inform you that we will not be progressing your application further. We have received applications from other candidates who more closely match the requirements of the position"

Balls.

It’s genuinely a coincidence that I’ve gotten around to writing a post on rejection on Valentine’s day but it seems fitting and I hope that this will be more useful than the shit you’ll find today in Grazia, Closer and <insert-name-of-magazine-that-promotes-self-loathing-here>.

I’ve been pretty open about the number of jobs I’ve applied for (nearing 50 now, if you’re wondering) and my success rates (two interviews, one spectacular job offer that I turned down). A few people have told me that I should keep it to myself, but I feel compelled to tell people the reality of my situation. It’s a bit like when someone compliments me on a particular piece of clothing and I am compelled to tell them how old, cheap or ‘from TK Maxx it is’.*

Anyway, this is not going to be a tale of woe and gnashing of teeth. Yes, it’s crappy when companies don’t reply. Yes, it’s a bit worse when you actually get a rejection. Job applications are not easy. Two or three in a week is exhausting and I have no ‘positive-control’ so I’m working in the dark most of the time.

What I wanted to write about this week was an answer to a question I get asked a lot: How do you deal with all the rejection? I’ll be honest, there are days when I’m really tired of it all. When I feel that if I had more time to write the bloody applications then maybe I’d get one of the jobs, but I’m so busy doing extra things to bolster my CV, maybe I’m spread too thin. Then, sometimes, I have a little cry. I’m quite fond of a good cry so this is not necessarily a bad thing. Anyway, we’re heading down the ‘tale of woe’ route but I just wanted to say that I’m not impervious to feeling crappy about it all. However, what I’ve done recently has really helped.

I have simply decided to do ‘new stuff’.

I guess it started by writing this blog, something I never thought I’d be able to do. It turns out, it wasn’t that hard and I’ve found out that I like doing it. You might think blogging is a complete exercise in narcissism and it is a bit, but it’s been a tremendous boost to my confidence to actually DO something. Something I thought I couldn’t do before.

Then, just before Christmas, bolstered by a bit of jealousy of my sister-in-law’s skills, I learnt to knit. I’m not great (the curled edges below probably show my tension is too tight) but it’s been really rewarding to learn the lingo, the patterns and to create something. I used to paint, draw and sketch a lot but, as messy hobbies, my one bedroom flat sort of vetoed them in fairness to my long suffering husband. It’s been very therapeutic to do but it also really made me proud. I could do something by the end of a week that I couldn’t do before. It didn’t cost much and I’ve found it really helpful to remind myself that I can do things.

Can you guess what I'm making? 

I also made a truly inedible pizza. Honestly, I’ve NEVER thrown something that I’ve cooked in the bin. I even froze an under-whipped tiramisu rather than chuck it out, once. This time, I thought to myself, I’d like to try and make a pizza. Yes, it was bloody awful. It was good to try though.

You can see where I tried to cut the dough in half
with a scissors to see if it was cooked. It wasn't

On the plus-side, the scraped off topping made
quite a nice pasta dish 

Last week, I got on a pair of skis for the first time in nearly 20 years. I’m not one of those Northern European ex-skiers who learnt in the womb either. I was hardly drawing on years of latent experience! In the end, I wasn’t half bad!  I was convinced I’d be appalling but, after just a couple of days, I was fine.

Look at me! Doing sport!

I decided the best way to combat the cold was to ensure
NONE of my skin was exposed.

This might seem like a completely pointless list of achievements but it’s important to remember that when you’re getting lots of rejections, you also did lots of other things too. 

Try a new hobby, start that book you’ve been meaning to read, dig out your old running shoes/bike/chess-set. I’ve found that by filling my meagre spare time with a couple of new things, the forefront of my mind isn’t dominated with ‘I got a rejection again this week’ but ‘how do I do a kfb purl stitch again?’** Remember that applying for jobs is just one of the things that your doing. Fill the rest of you time with things that will keep you positive and try and keep those in mind, too.

Maybe you got your son to finally eat with a spoon or trained the dog to sit. Maybe you worked out just how to make the perfect lasagne but, most of the time, if you have a little think, there’s usually something that worked. And, if not, try making a pizza. Apparently, it’s really easy. ***

*FYI: All my clothes are from TK Maxx or made by my Nan and most of them are over 5 years old. Some, over 15. I never grew.

** That’s for the knitters. God, I’m so cool.

***During the proof-reading of this blogpost, I got another rejection. I wonder if I could learn bridge?

In the next few weeks I'll be summarising seminars that I've been to on consultancy, patent law, science writing and think-tank research. I told you I've been busy, didn't I?